Aidpage

 in response to daisydu...   Well I didn't mean to come off as angry at your post either. *smile* So guess we both messed up there. I was just stating some things. It is hard to determine online how, what someone posts is supposed to be taken as, ya know?

As for the reasons you have your problems, I've done those stupid things too, MORE than once. It is good you realized you can not keep up an alcholic. Another thing I have learned the hard way, is my kids do without luxeries. My daughter is grown and not living with me, but my son is still with me. Right now we have no cable, but right now cable is lowest on the list of things to get done. It's not going to hurt him, it will only make him stronger.
I am really hoping that once I "graduate" the lessons of managing money, that I can teach this to my daughter. She is going down the SAME path I have, as did my parents.....it seems to follow suit.

Hang in there, and in my opinion, hand out help with encouragement instead of money until you have money piled up in your savings for emergancies, THEN, pay it forward!
God Bless!
~Jen~

 in response to PJsMom...   yes mam i respect your opinion....i for one was and still is in that situation right now....i should have stated that more carefully....sometimes i get so stressed and i don't pay attention to what i am saying....i deeply apologize for any offense i have caused you....i know everyone is not like that....let me set the rechord straight...."i do not think everyone is here for handouts...we all need help and the help is far and in between...and it is going to be more hard on us all as we end this year....

example would be my exhusband....i paid his bills after i left him for three months....i did without....not because i didn't have any choice....i just didn't want to leave him and let him do without....i wanted to give him a chance to get a job and start paying the bills on his own....i was married to him for 8 years so i knew how it was going to be....everything was in my name house....lights ....phone....everything....i gave him the house....the house we lived in was mine before we even got together....so i gave him a truck house....and bought his groceries every month....till he could do it own his own....well three months turned into months.....and he would give me all kind of excuses....well i was tired of doing without cause he didn't want to get a job....he knew i wouldn't let him do without....so i had to release all ties i had with him....to get the lights cut on at my place....i had to pay a 400.00b dollar light bill cause he didn't pay it....i believed that he did pay it cause he had lights at that time....well he turned the meter himself....when he new i was on my way....so all this time....he been drinking up a storm...and now the house is not livable....but him and his sister stays there..they have been without lights for 8 months now....and it isn't because they don't have the money to keep the lights on....or the water....they don't care how they live....the house is trashed....there are dumpster....three trailors away....what would it hurt to put the trash in the bag and walk it down to the dumpsters....i left him three years ago....and he is still trying to depend on me for food to let him come to my house for a bath....my fiance tells me enough is enough...he is a grown man....now we are doing without....7.00 here and there adds up....i thought he was getting him food with it....no alcohol....exhusband told me the other day...."i'm starving to death i am so hungry....i told him...."you make a choice every night when you go to the store to buy you something to eat or to drink....you choose beer....there is nothing more i can do for you...at first he tried to make me feel even more guilty....but i wouldn't budge....and it hurt me to do so....but no is no and no has to start from somewhere....specially when i am doing without because i was too stupid and supported his alcohol problem....

i haven't given him a dime in 6 months now....now my fiance and i was evicted out of our home cause they sold it to someone else under the table so we didn't have very much notice to get out....we only had 7 days....they harrassed us those 7 days until we had everything out and moved out....now we live in a house that is going into foreclosure soon and it could be next week...today or tomorrow when they tell us we have to get out....we don't know....and it cost as much as it did when we were lpaying rent....living in this house....the water bill gas lights truck note insurance. everything is costing more....i don't see how we made it when we had rent to pay....we thought we were going to be able to put up 400.00 dollars a month....cause we didn't have to pay rent....but we were wrong....the previous owners of this house were wrong....our gas bill is almost 400.00 dollars a month....everything is gas....i am use to having a light bill of 300.00 dollars or more....but now our light bill is 98.00 dollars a month....it don't matter which utility you have....one of them is going to take up all your money no matter what....we had a water leak under the house we didn't know about....our water bill is 192 this month....that is 12k units of water and i go to the laundry mat to wash and dry clothes....it is hard on us all....

i didn't mean to offend anyone....i know it isn't like that with everyone....and i should have reworded it....but here....the people that i have helped.....they do expect handouts like they are my responsibility.....

i do need...and i will try to find a job or something on the side to make the money i need to cover a bill....before asking....it is not pride that stops me from asking....it is the way i was raised is you work for what you can and if it still aint enough....then you ask for help....but you make sure you pay that person back when you get the money....my grandfather always taught me...if i had to ask for money to help pay for something....then you make sure you pay it back....it doesn't matter if it is 2.00 dollars a month....you pay it back....he also taught me that there are always someone out there in worse shape than you....

right now....it is the small things we don't have...coffee sugar...flower....i can make many meals out of flour and rice....many....we don't smoke anymore...(that was our luxury....cigarettes)...when we get caught up on the bills everything will be ok....we have monthly income to pay the bills....we just fell behind....my fiance daniel was sick for a week with the flu and they wouldn't let him work....so that hurts us right there....and i bought my son a truck for christmas...(we were doing great) then gieco....insurance company took 489.00 dollars out of daniels checking acount for the insurance....we weren't expecting that....they just told us...that it is going to be 258.00 a month....they sent daniel an email about it....but he didn't check it on time....anyway either way....it had to be paid....cause he needs insurance on the truck....we don't go do anything....i stay home....daniel goes to work and comes home....so i have cut all the corners i can afford to cut....i will just be glad when his next payday comes so we can pay everyone and get caught up....

well i have to go for a drug screening....i am trying to get a job at wal greens....i just hope they don't tell me what everyone else tells me and feed me a line of bull crap as to the reason they are scared to hire me....ms pjs mom....you take care and god bless you....

daisy

 in response to daisydu...   "ONCE YOU START PAYING THEIR BILLS....THEN THEY EXPECT YOU TOO"
I would have to disagree on this, and I am sure you did not mean it how it sounds, but NOT everyone is like this. Some of US did NOT ask to put thrown into the situation we are in now, NOT all of us were raised on how to make our money work for us, NOT all of us are just looking for a hand out. If I had my pick, I'd STILL have my job I held and loved for ten years, I'd STILL have my beautiful home in the wonderful neighboorhood I lived in, I'd STILL have my brand new car that was my dream car that WAS paid for before I let someone I "thought" cared about my well being talk me into something tremedously stupid.

Some of us NEED a lil help to get back on top, THEN, need to education to stay there and prospurous. I feel I have found that, you can not give out a helping hand without the education to go along with it.

Anyway, just my opinion......
Have a wonderful week!

LOL DOGEATDOG YOU ARE FUNNY....CONTADICT.....LOL THAT WOULD BE ME.....COMPREHENSIVE SENTENCE....THAT WOULD BE ME....LOL...THIS IS JUST WAY TOO CUTE.....YOU POSTING ME IS HELPING ME IN WAYS YOU CANT IMAGIN....JUST REMEMBER MONEY DON'T NEVER BRING HAPPINESS....WHEN I NEED FIANCIAL ASSISTANCE.....I WOULD RATHER GET THE ADVICE ON HOW TO MAKE THE MONEY TO HAVE THE MONEY....SO I CAN BE PROUD OF MYSELF BECAUSE I DID IT....BUT YEAH YOU ARE RIGHT...THERE ARE LOTS OF PEOPLE AROUND HERE THAT EXPECT HAND OUTS....ONCE YOU START PAYING THEIR BILLS....THEN THEY EXPECT YOU TOO....JUST LIKE EX HUSBAND CHRIS...I WORKED HELPED DANIEL PAY THE BILLS IN THE HOUSE I STAYED IN....AND STILL PAID THE BILLS EVEN AFTER I LEFT CHRIS....SO CHRIS WOULD HAVE FOOD LIGHTS AND I EVEN STILL BOUGHT HIS CLOTHING....CHRIS WASN'T MY HUSBAND....HE WAS MORE LIKE MY CHILD....LOL...WELL IT IS LATE....I WILL TALK TO YOU LATER....I RELL LIKE YOUR POST....YOU HAVE A GREAT SENCE OF HUMOR....AND YOU TELL IT LIKE IT IS....STRAIGHT UP....AND PEOPLE IT MIGHT HELP IF YOU DON'T WRITE A WOE IS ME STORY....TRY TO BE THOROUGH THROUGH YOUR POST....AND HELP YOURSELVES....IF YOU ASK GOD TO HELP YOU....HE WILL HELP YOU....BUT YOU HAVE TO HELP YOURSELF FIRST...GOD BLESS EVERYONE....AND TAKE CARE....
DAISY

I completely agree with all you are saying. Have a good day and God Bless =)

I guess if you still want to help follow your heart, if you have a feeling someone isnt being honest move on and find someone else .. probably not much help , there are a lot of good people here and I hope you find them

 in response to Yetta...   I saw that one. I just shook my head. It's good to hear you are on the road to recovery. As for the bills, a families priority list should always be as follows: food, shelter & basic utilities, clothing, transportation. These four come before anything else.

I completely understand what your saying!!! I came to this site before Christmas seeking help for my family ( we had some SERIOUSLY BAD months leading up to the Christmas season) and I am happy to say we are finally on the road to recovery from help from friends and church family...and even one wonderful person I met on Aidpage who sent me some underwear for my two sons and some emergency food. I have been trying to stay connected with the few people I met through this site, so I come here fairly often. I often sift through the sea of needs that people post, some of them break my heart, others absolutely disgust me. I was seriously thinking of asking for help with my bills this month, because although my bills (electric and gas) only come to $75 this month (water is more, but we had a leak last month, and I plan to pay it late) we still have not received our food stamps and are waiting for the papers to go through the system, so its either food or bills at the moment. ....all that aside... I read a post where a woman said she spent too much money on Christmas, money she didn't have (which I understand in a way...if I had not received help from friends this Christmas, I would have been desperate also) but now that lady is asking for a small $5000 gift to pay off her credit cards and such....I thought my jaw was gonna hit the floor!! I am not going to say I am any better than that lady, or anyone, but I just wish it was easier to recognize the difference between real need, and greed. Good luck on your quest to help people. If your having no luck on here...try giving a call to the local shelter, I am sure they can direct you to people who could really use some love, support and a lil financial boost. ( I have been there, and now I help the local shelter staff for the winter, I may not be able to help financially, but I can give my time, and there are many people worse off than I am...I know there are people who need kindness from people like yourself, and what your wanting to do is an amazing gift...dont give up!) I pray your ministry of giving is not stopped short by the greed of others...you will be a blessing to many if you just dont get too discouraged!! :)